Heavy Heart.

I've been feeling very under the weather the last day. My heart is breaking for my dear friend and her family. Just pray for a miracle people.

3 year olds & Movie Theatres

Last week I ventured out to try to make a memorable experience for both Fin Dog & I. His first movie theatre experience. It was a joke. Thank Jesus that we were the only people in the place watching " RIO" - I thought the movie looked good from the previews with all the dancing and singing. The real thing was not as much so- I would give it a B- . Finley on the other hand would give it a F-. It all was going good until we sat down and the previews started. Then the tears started. Ugh. I just paid 20 dollars people so that kid was gonna sit in the sit ( or on my lap) the entire movie if it killed me. He was an emotional wreck the whole movie. ( Has anyone else noticed how there is always some kind of scary character in all the "kid" movies) We made it through with about 40 breakdowns at various parts. Poor kid is sensitive and that's ok with me- but obviously he just wasnt ready for the big screen. Maybe we will try again when is he 12.

Round Cheeks X 4

The little midget in my household is growing up and out. It makes me sad to think of my little dude growing up and not being all round and chubby. It's hard to imagine him without those 2 sets of round cheeks. Baby fever anyone? Let's work on my darling husband to convince him that , yes- Laci needs numero tres soonish. And let's pray to the dear Lord that I have a girl next time around, because people I will not have more than 3 children. EVER. I love my kids. they are balls of awesomeness- but 4 kids seems like a small village, and when you live in the mountains - it's like living in LA without the warmth and beach. It's like living in the snow when it's May.

Seriously Depressing People...

Anyways- I'm leaving to go to my beloved Kansas City to day with Finley- So posts to follow about who and why I love KC- and also some pictures of the awesome baby shower I'm throwing on Saturday! I'm excited!

So I will leave you all with an easy dinner recipes- inspired by my single gal pal-

Recipe found at -Kraft recipes under lasagna roll-ups- ( sorry the computer wont let me put a shortcut to the site)

And have one of these for me( or 5)- of course thinking of me driving anf flying with my psycho 3 year old.

Running.

I do not like running- I just tell my body that it likes it and that it will reap the benefits of a natural butt lift.

Yayaya. running has a lot of great benefits but does anyone ever talk about all the terrible things that happens when you run- including awesome weight gain and bodily injuries.

This brings me to- ME RUNNING- imagine me running- heavy breathing ( almost sounds like I'm dying) ...and feet clomping ( I honestly sounds like a horse) ..I keep telling myself that I am running a 10k in June- but in the last few weeks my willpower is shrinking. I think it's because although I felt my body toning up when I began running - I gained 10lbs. Honestly sick. When you weigh 120- to gain 10 lbs is a lot of weight...( I know I know muscle weight- right...) And we can also blame my lack of motivation on the current weather in Colorado- freezing with a chance of rain, snow, hail- mixed with 20 minute intervals of sunshine.

Why don't I run on a treadmill you may ask? Let's make a long story( several long stories) short and say my treadmill running skills are terrible- I have fallen to the point of near concussion at least 3 times in the past 10 years. LAUGH IT UP.

Waiting for Sun - and then I will get my butt into gear- so if you live up here in the fridgid cold you may see me or HEAR me puffing away ...

Sleep.

I feel like I'm in a rut lately. I can't seem to wake up- at all. With Ryan being home more I've become a little more slower to rise- kinda wishing to myself ( and sometimes verbalizing it) that Ryan would just spring out of our warm bed and get the kids and their poopy hungry butts. Is that lazy? Maybe. I don't really care though. I've always liked sleep. Even growing up I was an amazing sleeper/napper. During College I would much rather go to bed early then stay up late and party. ( which I did almost every night) Loser? Maybe- but I love sleep that much. Not even I can come close to the best sleeper I know- Miss Jenny Wyllie. She's a marathon sleeper. That's why we clicked in college- we would much rather sleep, watch the oc and have dance parties. There were some weekends that I remember Jenny sleeping for almost 24 hours at a time. I was her human alarm clock senior year to make sure she was up to go teach little psychos in the classroom. oh Sleep- we love thee.

Anyways- I thought when you got older you need less sleep? That's a lie folks- I feel like every year I need a little more sleep. Ugh. Dreaming of the days when more sleep exsists in my little life.

Home-made Oreos

I forgot to mention- that you MUST make these oreos . You Must. I'm hungry just thinking about them.

Recipe is from Smitten Kitchen ( which in my honest opinion has some of the best recipes ever)

http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/05/my-kingdom-for-a-glass-of-milk/

The Big Day.

My New Birthday Flats
(PS- If you make fun of my fat feet I will beat you up )

My birthday summed up in 1 word was - HILARIOUS. No Really. It seemed to start pretty good- hubby bought me my favorite champagne on the eve of my birthday and gave me a full body rub- ( don't worry I won't go into further detail of what happened that night) but - it was a good Birthdays Eve- followed by tea and cinnamon rolls, roses and marzipan ( one of my favorite treats)

The hilarity began around 12. My good friend county girl was over visiting with her kiddos- hubby was out- and my parents arrived. My mom mentioned earlier that she was going to bring me lunch for my birthday (nice, right?) - not so. I felt like I was 12 again and getting into trouble for having my friend stay past bedtime or something. So my mom came in mad that I wasn't expecting her and then went on to make my friend feel like the scum of the earth for being there- ( wait it's my birthday right). The whole thing was messed up and I ended up going to county girls house to apologize profusely ( and give her her cell which she left when she abruptly was shoved out the door). I'm not exageratting either. I felt like I was 12 . 12 people. On the only day that is mine alone ( well and Suri Cruise but I'm older and demand more..)

So maybe next year we can have round 2 and I will feel like I'm a whole year older ( 13). So Ryan and I decided to do a redo of my big day and go to Denver and leave the kids with my parents. It was such a good day and I've offically decided to change my birthday to April 19th- which is a really good day because my awesome grandma was born on that day 79 years ago.

Some things I would like to accomplish this year-

1. Completely change my food in my pantry to organic

2. Only eat Red Meat 1 time a week

3. Take Vitamins EVERYDAY

4. Take 1 day a month to have Girls Night

5. Tell my husband I love him every hour

6. Make my Bed 4 times a week

Bowls On my Want List- Courtesy of Laurisa Ballew ( lover of my soul)

Another year older.

Is it just ME or does your birthday not really matter anymore? Maybe I'm just getting more boring with old age. I remember growing up and every year on my birthday getting so excited- now I'm wondering why I'm not getting the same effect. Maybe my inching towards 30 is freaking me out. But I'm not going to complain- this past year has been a good and full one. May-Starting off with me not going back to work full time - which equals me trying to figure out what to do all day to entertain myself and 2 small crazies. July- Ryan picked up a second job - which lead to more time being a single mom August- Little bro moves in our basement October- St. Maarteen with Ryan( let's try to forget that there was a hurricane) oh and let's not forget finding out our rental house was in foreclosure. November- My parents moving into our basement and Andy moving out. December- Jenny's wedding in Kansas City ( mommy got to escape for a few awesome days) and let's not forget the Housing deal falling through at the last minute = depression. January- FINALLY getting our house back to ourselves , celebrating Coco's 1st bday February- Finley's first surgery= a completely different child in a good way! Celebrating Fin & Ryan's Bdays with a spiderman themed party ( Ryan you know you loved it) March- Ryan decides to sell his half of his business and do something new ( the verdict is still out on this one- if we're millionaires by next year I will say this was a good move :) Which leads of to April...the month of my beloved birth. It's funny how the presents we want changes over the course of our lives. For instance I just bought myself new bedding for our bedroom and that was my birthday present. And ya know what- I'm excited about it! Don't worry I will take a picture of the before and after pictures! Ok- I'm tired of writing- stay tuned tomorrow I will try to blog about what I want to accomplish in my 26th year.

What Makes It Worth While.

By the end of most days I have little to no energy to accomplish anything in my life. Each and every night after the kids are (forced) in bed- I try to pick up the destruction of toys, food particles, books, diapers ( don't even try to say once in a while dirty diapers aren't laying around your house) - unhygenic ? Maybe. I never really feel like my house is "clean" per say. It's impossible with my 2 - if I clean it up they are even more determined to destroy and conquer- and I know it's completely normal and I accept it. So how in the heck do some of your mommies do it? Most of my mommy friends live in chaos like I do- but some of you ( no names will be involved) hhhhh..my mother being one of these few- how is your house so clean and organized? I need some tips? And no it doesn't count if you have a live-in nanny- (if you have a live in nanny we can't be friends anyways). So my destroyers are crazy- lately my midget has been so clingy it's killing me. He won't let me put him down and although I love his fatness I could do without his snot trails on every single one of my shirts. Sick. And my gentle giant has joined in with the midget in these awesome high pitched screaming for no reason rants. This always is a positive when I'm fighting a migrane...someone tell me how to explain to a 1 year old how to stop screaming- my gentle giant pretends to be deaf so no advice needed with him. Ok getting to the part that makes all this joy worth it- the other night as we gathered for dinner- (I will save that topic fo another post)- Finley finishes dinner, walks over to Ryan - kisses him and says " I love you Daddy." We both got tears in our eyes- I was thinking to myself maybe after 3 long years of being a psycho he is finally coming around. That warm fuzzy feeling lasted for about 5 minutes- and then he was whining about something. But in those 5 long minutes I can see an end in sight for my gentle giant- he is making progress- and those minutes made all the bad ones worth it ...

My Want List.

I decided to show you all my current wants. I have a lot but I've narrowed it down to the things I'm a little obsessed with. Is that bad? Don't get too excited for me- with my dreamer husband and his new buisness plan I don't see anything new in my future :)

Both Courtesy of West Elm

Vintage Pyrex Courtesy of Etsy

Picture Courtesy of Etsy

Cookies Courtsey of Etsy

Flats Courtesy of Steve Madden

Courtesy of Mod Cloth

Give me a Break.

Are there days, weeks, months, years that you don't get a break from being mommy? And a break means hours away from anyone in your family including your loving husband. Sometimes you just need a break and to be with your gal-pals. I was fortunate enough to get an opportunity such as this...and

It was awesome.

Awesome. It was such a pleasant distraction from the norm of my black sweatpants and bra less self. (Which reminds me that I have to get back on the horse and try to do my hair at least 2x a week)..I've been lacking in the looking like a person category. My poor hott husband. Anyways- so last night I did my hair and then proceeded to rip all of my folded clothes off my closet shelves to find something not stained or smelly to wear- this equals a huge pile of clean clothes on the floor which will probably be sitting there for the next few weeks. ugh.

So I got all normal person like and left my house, my kids and my husband for my night on the town. Me and my two friends who we will call City Girl and County Girl- and me Middle Girl? It was so nice to just SIT and not be interrupted mid conversation from screaming gremlins. Also we went to one of my favorite restaurants in the "valley"- DISH...so good. Anyways I can't say enough how important it is for any mommy to get out and have a girls night - even if it rarely happens- we need to stand strong in our convictions that mommies need a break. I needed a break..and I feel so much better about my life. I feel like I came home last night after talking to my two awesome friends for over 5 hours of interrupted bliss so refreshed.

Not gonna lie a little hung over but so worth it.

Friends are like Barbeque

Going through my life I have had the great opportunity of having wonderful friends ( and really crappy friends). I feel like at every stage of life you have certain friends that you just click with- like in highschool when you play on the same sports team, in college when you pledge the same sorority and in adulthood when you have spouses and kids. It seems like as time passes you either always have the same commonality or you move on to the next phase and that friend or friends does not. And common people, we are usually gonna click and stay in touch with people on the same path of life. Friends come and go in life and it's ok to let go of friendships. I think sometimes its hard to let go- but just let go- new people seem to always pop up at the right moment to fill the void.

To say all that- I just click better with people who feel what I feel. Change poopy diapers, get stuck in hibernation in their houses, speak the mommy language- not that I don't love single free ranging men and women( ok maybe not men) our lives are just different. And different is ok. This leads me to Barbeque- I know hard corolation. So I have deeply hated barbeque for maybe the past 10 years. Hated Hated Hated- to smell the sweet tangy smell made me puke in my mouth most of the time- and then we were in Costco about 2 weeks ago and those tester stations had some babyback ribs- and I told Ryan to get me one- he looked at me like I was insane and I'm sure he was thinking to himself, " S*** I hope she isn't pregnant" excuse the cussing. Because for me to try barbeque after so long of hating it means I have changed. And yes - I have been eating BBQ for the past 2 weeks . Several times. I changed- People change- it's ok to change.

Does this make sense? Probably not- but it seemed like a good idea in the beginning. Now Im going to go eat my 2nd BBQ sandwich of the night. It's so good.

I'm Broke- I just bought Groceries.

Seriously- Have any of you noticed the sky-rocketing prices of groceries?? It's insane.

I love grocery shopping. I do. I love it. I love walking down each and every aisle on my quest for the perfect produce or yummy snack that I can munch on after the kids are down ( this usually means a huge bag of rasinettes that are gone within an hour..) And let me tell you- I'm a very budgeted person- I hardly spend money on anything and I would much rather trade babysitting or sell some furniture to get more furniture- I'm just good like that surprisingly.

But when it comes to grocery shopping I want what I want- you've got to enjoy something in life right? And in my opinion it's food. Not just bad food - I'm totally an endorser of putting good things into not only mama's mouth but also our kids mouths. I don't skimp on the organic products because I really do believe they are better for our kids and for us mommy's! Not to say that I don't also sneak in the occasional coke or taco bell run ( mommy only) but I am a true believer in organic dairy and organic meat- these are important to me.

Now I'm not a judger so you all feed your families whatever the heck you want- but when I'm 80 and still running 10 k's ( oh wait I have yet to run one of these) maybe you will wish that you would have chosen a little more wisely.

So anyway back to grocery shopping- I am not kidding but for the amount of food I get each week which is roughly the same- the bill is slowly creeping higher and higher...food prices are insane. We should all live on farms and be self-sustainable.

One of my favorite blogs - Dig This Chick- is totally rocking the gardening, feeding her kiddos good stuff, sewing tons of crap- ( Can someone pleeeease teach me how to sew- I'm begging you)- I aspire to be like her- she's so awesome.

Anyways this is the most random post ever. It's been a long day.

Sunrise. Sunset.

Back by popular demand. Just kidding. I know I've been slacking on the posts lately. Call it laziness if you will or maybe a lack of follow -through? Plus the monthly friend was here last week which means I was PMSing the week before which equals me sitting on my couch eating tons of caramel ice cream ( if you haven't tried this go get some right now) This leads to me not having any drive in my life. I'm sorry - I will get better.

Anyways- my post for today is about my most hated times of the day. Sunrise. Sunset. And no not like Fiddler on the Roof- instead these are the most chaotic times of day at the Kirkman house. Saturday afternoon- Tuesday night I play single mom pretty much 24 hours a day. From the minute my little buggers wake up either screaming in their crib or trashing my family room with tortilla chips and poop ( refer to facebook post on Sunday morning) to the agonizing " ok Finley for the 80th time if you get out of your bed one more time I'm gonna go get the spon and spank you till you understand what that means." And honestly I think I say that phrase 5 times a night. Which usually ends with Finley and my spoon having a heart to heart. The whole thing stresssssses me out.

Morning time is like a frantic wave of changing diapers, pull ups, milk, breakfast, change of clothes, throwing the sheets in the wash ( because my kids overflow their diapers/pull -ups with pee everynight)- to add to this we have a needy dog who not only sleeps in her baby playpack but also needs to eat and go out and take 20 minutes to take a crap in the bloody cold. While I take her out I watch my kids through the back double glass window take on each other so by the time I get back in someone is screaming . Awesome way to start ones morning.

Night time- trying to keep my 2 kids entertained from the hours of 4-7 is impossible. They start having their breakdowns around 4:30- probably because neither one of them likes to take naps much to my dismay. And oh believe me I try and try and try to MAKE THEM take naps. If you know a way- please enlighten me. Getting dinner ready and on the table goes like this-

Me- Finley please get out of the kitchen
Finley- I want up
Me- Finley stop yelling at Cooper
Finley- Whhhyyy
Me- Cooper stop pulling at every electrical cord
Finley- I want up
Me- Finley tell Cooper to stop trying to electricute himself
Finley- No Cooper
Cooper- WHHHHHHHHAAAA.

Dinner usually takes me forever to make and forever to shove down their little throats- althought lately Finley has actually started to like food again and is making us poor. Buying everything in bulk is in our near future.

I can't wait for the day when I get to wake my kids up to go to school and actually wish they were around at night- I will get pure joy from ripping off their little comforters and pouring a nice big jug of cold water on them. Welcome to adulthood you little crazies. Only 10 or so years from now......

Do you have a favorite...

Do you prefer one child over the other? If you are thinking and saying, " no" - your a liar. Just saying. Im hoping that neither of my children will ever find this blog- especially in about 12 years when they have proof that I do favor one over the next.

Anyone have any guesses to who I prefer over the other? And I must admit this often changes on a daily basis. Plus I havent even written a blog post lately because my children have been so good over the last week- it has been a miracle to say the least.

Anyways back to my favorite. Growing up I always knew without a doubt that my mom prefered even to this day my younger brother. He is crazy and shares no common interests with my mother. You'd think this might decrease her obsession with him- not in the slightest unfortunatly. ( and Mom if your reading this don't even try to deny it ) . Also I always knew my Dad liked me more than my brother. I was the responsible, dependable, more "conservative" child- what's not to love. I don't think any parent can honestly say at times or maybe all the time one child is just a little more easy to get along with.

Finley- My older child- he's awesome. He has some bad quirks about him though. Quirks I would rather remove from him all together. His worse one is definatly his attitude problem. I know that attitude problem well because I too carry the attitude around. but you see it's easier to harness it as an adult. Try harnessing the attitude in a newly 3 year old. And I've got to say ever since the little bugger turned 3 it has been smooth sailing. From birth- 2 years old where very trying years for me. With me occassionally locking myself into a closet or garage and screaming my lungs out to get control of myself. ( just like Sex & the City 2) except in my black sweats, tshirt minus the designer dress.

Cooper- My Second try at the parenting thing. Cooper is very chilled and happy about 95 percent of them time. He has not been the greatest sleeper during his short life but I feel like his little personailty makes the not sleeping a little better. Cooper is more like Ryan in his mannerism. He is chilled until he doesnt get a certain toy from Fin or is overly tired and then all hell breaks loose. But if you saw that little cloth diaper butt waddleing around my house - you too would fall in love with his short little statue and ghetto booty. Now I haven't hit the age where he can talk back to me so check back with me in a year .

I'm not coming out and saying who is my favorite- but I think you get the picture. I was the oldest and I butt heads with my oldest. My husband was the baby and I am a little obsessed with my baby. not to say that I don't love them equally at all time- liking them equally at times is a different story.

Another year- Another party.

Last night I threw a 3 year old Spiderman themed birthday bash. Let me say it again- Last night I threw a 3 year old Spiderman themed birthday bash. Now you can feel bad for me.

This was the first year that I had to throw 2 parties in 2 months for my 2 crazies. I may or may not have gone a little overboard on my spiderman decor/ cake/ and vintage candy bar. I felt like this birthday- at the ripe old age of 3 should be something that little Finley should and BETTER remember. If he doesn't I will show him lots of pictures of all the "slaving away" mommy did just for him.

But let's all be honest- kids birthday parties are ridiculous. You've got to throw your kids a party in the fear that they will feel left out if they are the only loser child not getting a party. Plus you kind of feel the need to torture the other parents who've also thrown parties in the coinciding year. By torture I mean the joys of chasing your child around someone elses house full of breakables- picking up the pieces of food that find its way lodged into the carpet.

I honestly wish every time any parent had to throw a birthday party that it would be adults only. A time to celebrate making it through another year of raising that unruly child. When hosting a party you never really get to enjoy each others company because your kid demands your undivided attention 24/7. At least you always know a party that starts by 4:30 in the afternoon can't last too long. Because about an hour into it most if not all the kids are having breakdowns.

I invitied my single, childless friend from work and I honestly kept thinking to myself, " I wonder if she is thanking God that she can just be the spectator and enjoy the show"- because that is what it typically ends up being.

Not to put a negative spotlight on the party last night. I thought it was a smashing success. A least I will remember it- until next year when I have to do it all over again- except a different theme. And by the way it was my poor husbands birthday as well. Hope he likes Spiderman. Got him a spandex suit for later.

Post- Baby Body Nightmare

Alright people here it is- the topic every mommy blog talks about- your bod post-pregnancy.

I used to consider myself very healthy, don't smoke, don't really drink, workout often, eat alot of salad. All of these things combined culminated into my pre-pregnancy self. After I had Finley I easily got back to my fairly good looking while naked bod. After Cooper it has been a different story entirely.

I don't know how to pinpoint it really. Maybe I'm just too tired to really try. Now I'm not trying to compare myself to anyone but my old self. I know I look ok on the outside ( did I just give myself a compliment?) Well I think I look pretty good after having 2 kids in 3 years- but underneath the clothes (black sweat pants, Ryan's t) it doesn't look so good. I do not like wearing jeans anymore because I don't like the feeling of my large ass busting at the seams- my hips have stretched to the max and I'm guessing they have no intention of returning to normal in this life time.

Pregnancy and Child-Birth changes you. My perfectly perky 34B's are no way the same boobs they used to be- They are A-....I never even thought I cared about my ladies until they weren't there anymore. Do any of you feel my pain? Do I hear an Amen??

I just dont have the discipline anymore to eat air popped popcorn, spinach salad, and lots of fiber. I rather eat SmartFood popcorn- Have you tried this ?? It is amazing and everytime I go to the grocery store I leave with a bag and eat the whole thing within a few hours. Should I be bragging about this?? I think not.

It doesn't help when your husband is hott. He likes to workout and has large muscular shoulders and a small waist - he even has those muscle lines that go into his pants ( don't know what these are called) am I being too graphic? I apologize. But when you've got a husband that looks like that- let's just say its hard to be fat.

Now I'm going to go eat the rest of the bag of popcorn.

Electronic Obsession

I'll admit it. I am slightly obsessed with my iphone. I check my email, texts, and internet on an hourly basis- alright I'll be honest maybe every 10 minutes. And tonight while chasing the crazies around a hotel lobby and trying to catch up with a long lost friend my nice glass of red wine fell from the sroller cup holder on my phone. I am heartbroken- I may have even shed a tear or two.

That phone is my connection to the outside world. How in the heck did people communicate before they had everything at the touch of their handheld? Maybe they were too busy farming and having children like clockwork.

Well hopefully tomorrow when I wake up my phone will raise from the dead- (I even tried a blowdryer to dry the thing out ) Send up some prayers for my phone and if you need to get ahold me of me- well sorry I'm out of service.

Car Rides with the Crazies.

I rarely leave the confines of our little duplex. But once in a long while I have to make the trek down to Denver to purchase the essentials ( in my case it was birthday party crap). So along with my 2 crazies who don't enjoy sitting in their luxury car seats for more than 15 mins, I also had to bring along all of their baby/toddler junk- including stroller, playpack, bottle, kid snacks, water, blanket, extra clothes, pj's, toys....everything. Thank the Lord I now have a large SUV to pack full of this stuff.

Anyways not only did neither of my kids fall asleep during the 2 1/2 hour long drive- my little midget (aka Cooper) pretty much cried for about 2 hours. This was not a great start to my trip. I was mentally prepared for anything though. Before I left I said a little prayer that no matter how much crying there would be I would A) put in my earphones or B) turn the music up very loud before loosing it.

Just to make a long story short let's just say traveling anywhere with kids is almost impossible and sometimes I ask myself is this even worth it. The answer is no it probably isn't worth it and now I feel like I ran a half marathon .

The way home was even more fun for everyone. It took us 3 1/2 long hours in stop and go traffic- probably not the smartest decision to go home at 5 pm on a Friday on President's Day weekend. I will take the blame for that one.

Ugh. I'm tired. Stay tuned later for my long winded post after post- bod after baby.

stay at home mom will work for free.

No offense to any of you working mamas-(just thought I would come out and say that upfront) but in my case staying at home with my boys has been one of the hardest things of my life. I wouldn't classify myself as patient, affectionate or calm and these three things would come in handy right about now.

I have chosen to stay at home for the time being (if you don't count the 2 part time jobs I have and babysitting I do 2 times a week out of my house). And let me tell you not a day goes by where I wish that going back to work would actually be worth it. Maybe if I made more money, maybe if it was the coolest job ever, maybe if I wouldn't feel guilty about missing these years. And let me tell you most days I wish I could miss these years. I often scower the classified ads in hope that maybe the perfect job is out there and we could just figure out the childcare situation etc.

These years have been very hard and not as rewarding as I thought before I had these little buggers. They have most if not all of my bad qualities and little of my good. My good one includes love of sleep which both fight on a daily basis and one( I will not mention names, ok the short chubby one) refuses naps altogether. My kids both have attitude . BIG attitude problems and I know this charateristic is mine alone. Their father is the more patient, calm one who is usually telling me to be more patient in life.

Anyways back to staying at home. It is hard. I feel like I do the same things day in and day out. Any of you SAHM ' s feeling this way? Where is the excitement? And the thing is I have chosen this life and Ryan and I have decided this is what is best for the time being. But believe you me- when my little buggers go back to school - I am going back to the working world. Props to all the mommies out there- kidless people have it easy.

I did my hair.

As I got older ( like I'm so old at a ripe age of 25) - I did my hair less frequently. During college I was too busy with nursing school and homework ( little good that did me) . My hair just kept falling in my list of priorities. When I met Ryan I religiously did my hair everyday- I mean common you've got to impresses and dazzle to catch them, right?

This leads to the other night when I asked my dear husband what length he liked my hair, his response, " The length that you do it." Wow. That is sad- he doesnt expects much but maybe once in a while I could slip out of my black sweat pants that I love so much ( so much in fact that I'm wearing them as I type this). I usually wear these with a matching long tshirt of my husbands. The same shirts that I repeatedly wore while breastfeeding and have lovely dried stains to match.

Ok. Ok. So maybe it has been a little too long to drag on the I'm just to tired and busy to get myself together. So today I'm vowing to try (not promise) to do my hair and wear it down 2 times a week. Hold me to it people. If I can do that I can do anything! I have also posted a picture of what it actually looks like worn down- weird right? Headband courtesy of sasablue on etsy.

Just so you all know - last night Ryan and I went out for dinner without the kiddos- which is always a weird thing to actually eat and talk to one another. I did my hair and wore makeup and put on a dress. I should get an award.

Sickness & Seclusion

I hate winter. Not only do I dislike the negative temperatures but I dislike the broad range of sicknesses that it brings with it. Seriously. I know each front desk person/nurse and Dr. by first name. We are all pals. Shannon- Dr. Engles nurse is a true jem- we know each others current stresses etc- isn't this sad? I know she works Tues/Thurs and she knows what is going on with my family.

Hilarious. Every week ( not kidding) there is a new bout of sickness lurking around my house. What am I supposed to do? Not take my kids anywhere in the chance they may get sick? I already live in seclusion in the "Vail Valley". It may be beautiful and all people but this place doesnt have a Target or Chipotle. Now you can agree.

Sometimes I even wish that I could be the one sick so everyone could take care of me. That is completely disturbing. I wish sickness upon myself in the small chance that I could lay in bed and sleep ( even if I have a fever and am vomitting).

Let's all pray that Spring arrives quickly and the sickness leaves soon. Or else.

Is starting a blog a good idea?

I love blogs- other peoples blogs. My own makes me a little nervous. Some times when reading other mommy blogs- I wonder to myself, " How is your life so perfect?" Well Im guessing it isn't and they are just sparing all of us readers from the gory details of imperfect mommyhood.

Well people- I 'm not doing this. I want to start a blog chronicling my life- the good the bad and the disturbing. Maybe just for me to be able to look at one day and remember what was happening in 2011.

Let's start with today for instance ( warning- negativity in the near future)

Valentines Day- a holiday filled with hearts, candy and sex. My Valentines Day started off with screaming kids- poopy diapers and a busy husband running out the door to go to #1 of his #2 jobs of the day. I luckily ran out last night and got the kids some cards (which remained unwritten in- it's the thought that counts right?) -I even had the idea of cutting out cute paper hearts and sticking them to the windows and doors ( this actually did happen but not until 11am today) . So my day continued - today not only did I have my medicated children ( one teething and one post-surgery) I also had a 9 week old who decided sleeping was not in the cards for today. Longest day of my life. Don't worry I will probably say that in a few days.

As the day was winding down I made homemade black bean soup for the kids- which neither liked or ate and accidently poured it all over my kitchen floor. Then I thought it would be a good idea to make Finley's class treat- homemade rasperry tarts. What was I thinking? Weelicious is an awesome website that I'm obsessed with but these tarts took me 2-3 hours to do- while juggling dinner and bedtime.

So the kids are finally down. And my blood pressure is starting to drop. And guess what? My husband is still at work! Boy did he miss a great one :) No sex for anyone tonight. Happy Valentines Day to all and hopefully your Valentines Day was as good as mine or maybe even better ?